One:One Coaching
Hey Sis, I got a question for you.
What happens when you don’t heal from the toxic and challenging relationship with your mother?
It’s time for Black women to tell the collective truth – some of us had our inner joy and peace taken from us before we even knew what it meant to possess it.
Because of this we lack…
I know what it’s like to be rigid, hard, and emotionally unavailable. I was raised by a toxic black mother who modeled this behavior. Before I began healing my Mother Wound, I spent a lot of time trying to “fix her” I thought if I could get her to see how she hurt me growing up, she could help fix me.
When that didn’t work, I turned to men, food, and accomplishments, all the things that black women are told they need to find joy. Next was therapy and, of course, prayer.
But then something happened that rocked me to my very core. And maybe you can relate to this…
I confronted my mother. I decided to tell her the truth about how I was no longer willing to pretend that her treatment of me hadn’t hurt me through out my entire life.
And, do you know how that conversation went?
She hung up on me, and I haven’t heard from her in years. Sis, I’m telling you, if “kiss my ass” was a person, it would be my mother.
I can’t even begin to describe how her abandonment hurt me back then. After years of trying to please her, she abandoned ME! Her behavior was the proverbial wake-up call I needed. It also helped me to realize that healing from my own mother wound had nothing to do with getting her to admit what she did wrong. It was about me deciding I was worth more than what she had to give.
You can bet I got serious about my healing after that. I went to therapy to help me understand how the relationship with my mother shaped my entire life and every choice I’d made in my life.
That’s right, I let therapy work out my painful past, but my future was up to me.
Can I let you in on a secret? Your future also belongs to you. Over the years, I have found more than just freedom I’ve discovered…
My healing journey hasn’t always been pretty! I was emotionally shut down. I didn’t think there was anyone I could trust so I did everything own to the point of exhaustion. I didn’t think I was worthy of love with out earning it through action and accomplishment. On the outside I was a strong Black woman. But on the inside, I was completely broken.
I’ve dealt with violent trauma, experienced heartbreak & made some decisions that had lasting implications on my life. I’ve held onto shame so strong that I didn’t even tell my therapist! But now, by taking myself down a very specific healing process I’m able I am proud to say I wake up every day and CHOOSE softness and vulnerability.